"Hands"
Humans have an annoying tendency to reach for and, consequently, hold on to various literal and metaphorical objects/ideas that ultimately hurt them. I find myself particularly adept at holding onto such hurt-causing entities; specifically, thoughts and behaviors dealing with control and perfectionism. Unfortunately, my pursuits of “perfect” and “control” has contributed significantly to my development/maintenance of mental illness. Overall, my “hands’” havoc-wreaking attempts to grasp perfect, never led to the peace I craved; it only deepened my despair. But that’s where grace comes in. Each failure, imperfection, and downward spiral reminded me that it was never really about my hands or what they could/couldn’t do; the peace and freedom I sought was all about someone else’s hands, someone else’s work, and someone else’s love: Christ’s. Thus, my senior show, Hands, aims to visually display these reflections—ultimately promoting awareness of mental illness, reminding viewers of the fruitlessness/dangers of seeking “perfection,” and breaking down the facades of “perfect” and “in control.” I also hope to convey that true peace/satisfaction comes by accepting our imperfections, letting go of control, and trusting God’s perfection rather than our attempts to obtain it. To illustrate these abstract concepts, I often use a “grunge” method of creation that directly combats perfectionism. For instance, I usually complete pieces without erasing, by intentionally smudging lines, and by drawing with a heavy hand. Similarly, I enjoy utilizing recycled, cheap, and/or damaged materials to both create and display my art. I use these unusual techniques to remind myself (and others) to risk imperfection, embrace the imperfections we often try to fix or avoid, and integrate the “wrong” into my work—imitating how God uses our messes in delightfully redeeming ways.
Lesley Howard is about to earn her Bachelor of Arts in Studio Art and Psychology and currently resides in Lavon, Texas.
"Anguish" from The Emotion Series. 20 ¼” x 20" Acrylic 2018
"I’m Really Good at Art" 16” x 11” x ½” Procreate, cardboard, ebony pencil 2019
“The Darkest Parts” from the series Rumination and Release, 30 ½” x 31” Cardboard, matte varnish and charcoal powder, charcoal pencil, acrylic 2019
“I Hear You (slow down)” from the series Rumination and Release, 31” x 29 ¼” Cardboard, matte varnish, charcoal pencil, acrylic 2020
“Truth?” from The Truth Series 48 1⁄8” x 36” Acrylic 2018
